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Dec. 6th, 2004 @ 08:41 pm time to move this shit!
Current Music: the sound of silence cause the party is over on the new blog
Per the advice from my resident doctor...I am going to be moving all further updates to my picto blog on blogger.

So for all my millions of readers please make sure to update your favorites with www.hamonrye.blogspot.com

Otherwise you may be missing out on the foundations of human civilisation for the next 2000 years...hey, what can I say, I always wanted to inspire people...plus blogger checks my spelling for me!
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Dec. 2nd, 2004 @ 09:38 pm triumverate of degeneracy!
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: electralane
I am finally coming out of the mental state induced by the chemical and sensory excess of last weekend and all I can say, as I wipe the sweat accumluated from my brow due to a nasty case of DT's, is...whew!!!


There are situations and moments in life where every single moment is exactly as you would like it to be and last weekend was one of those moments. A period of five days, free from the stress and fear of your daily routine. A period where you are spending every waking moment with people that you want to spend every waking moment with. Where everyone has the same idea as to what to do next, without dis-comfort or argument. Everything happening in this oddly connective understanding of where, and who each person is. Living in the moment and embracing it for all its worth. Last weekend could only be summed up in that manner and no other way.

An old friend of my brothers and I from high school came to visit. We hadn't seen her in well over five years and had lost touch since we had left the mid-west cesspool some people prefer to call Sheboygan. She has oddly enough ended up living in THE major metropolis of North America, while my brother and I have ended up in its European counterpart.

My father once told me that the sign of true friendship is seeing people you haven't seen in years and able to act as if not a day has gone by with out seeing that person. As he put it, it shows that you have something there between you and that means true friendship.

Which was exactly the case upon seeing the old friend from high school. All three of us where close back then, but we just lost touch over the years. It was a period of odd reconcilation with the place I grew up in. For while I truly do dis-like that city, seeing old friend again reminded me that I had some interesting expereinces there as well and met some people who really were worth knowing. I spent years trying to escape any connection with that city, to the point of intense neurosis, and it's only now that I don't feel like I have to run anymore. I can accept it finally. Though old friend also agreed that she only recently got out of therapy regarding that city( I don't think she was joking).

We spent the five days together drinking heavily and smoking, while pursuing the joys of London and while yes, I feel strung out, it was suprsingly inlightining. I saw someone close partake in activity that I had never seen him partake in before and was quite proud! It was actually inspiring and not as shocking as I expected it to be ( I really can't give more details about that now, but I promise I will one day, don't worry, its perfectly acceptable behaviour). I think I may have hit a mental turning point of getting past mundane social fears and suddenly feel awake, and I got some needed perspective on the behaviour of ceartain individuals in the past and finally have some clarity on that situation and really feel ready to move on an embrace the future and not some reprise of past encounters. I am rambling ( typos and all) but its the only way I can attempt to put some spin to the thoughts drifting across my brain when I think about the weekend.

It was very sad to see her go on Tuesday. It meant a return to the rotuine of our lives that we had all escaped from for a brief amount of time. Returning to that sense of looking for something to look forward to instead of being completely satisfied by the moment. Its a shame that people with such soild understandings of each other have to live apart. I have only meet one other person in this city who I felt that way with, while I can count a number of them back in the states. The one I met here moved to Berlin. No regrets though...things keep rolling and we all get tossed around...

actually the one regret was not getting tatoos, cause we had discussed it and then lil bro pussied out. It would have been such a cap to the weekend.

Really though, the main point here is that I finally and seriously thought about girls again and it feels sooooo good...though oddly frustrating now...but in a good way really!

So while I feel mildly depressed in my return to the reality of living, I think I can rest comfortably in knowing that for a few days there, I really packed in some fucking living and even if those moments are far and few and in-between, god damn it do they make it all worth while...

Wish the rest of you could have been there, I think you would have felt the same.
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Nov. 12th, 2004 @ 11:00 pm tropic of chuck-ucorn!!!!
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: old 60's soul
I have ignored this space for a while, and having had a few people tell me they want up-dates, who am I to argue with the voyeristic zeal of internet journals.

I turned 25 years old a few months ago. While some celebrate with a moan or a shout, I just had a pint. And it was good. The past year was a challenge, difficult, trying, shattering, but things have balanced out as well. I don't regret the months of unemployment. The obessesing over a life and love I left behind in the US. I may not have been ready to cross that bridge once I had actually done it. Thrust into what was suddenly unknown, no real bearing or familiar sites, except what I was able to cling on to via the interent. But, fuck it all, it was worth every single difficult second and I would not change any of it for the world. It has strengthened reslove in ways I used to hope for, and thought I had, but actually didn't. And living in different countrie(s) lets you see things in a different perespective, all the while reminding you of who you are and what you have been through before. Everyone should do it. Tearing yourself away is difficult, but you get a grasp of the world in a first hand way...its been educational and has let me prepare for being 25 by understanding that the best way to prepare for what may happen in the future is to not prepare at all...

Since my last real post I finished my temp job. Landed a fat check from it and got a job at a French resturant in a historic little town right outside of London. The staff are charming and rude and thoughtful in that Uniquely french way. It's allowed me to speak french again on a daily basis and its been a re-discovery of my Francophone roots. I see a bit of my family in them and it reminds me that my parents tried very much to give us a francaphone up-bringing in the US( which may have something to do with my never feeling fully connected to US culture while living there). Thanks to that job, I now have a press officer role at this unique record label that is starting up. A collective of French, English and Africans, putting together this label with these artists and sounds that give opportunities to talented individuals in areas where they would not normally have access to the materials needed to release their work for a large audience. It's incredibly interesting and I have meet some fantastic individuals from other parts of the globe. ( on a slight dia-tribe here, I have made friends with some french muslims, and I have to say that what amounts to the vilification of Islam is sick...really sick). Plus the tunes, a mix of soul, jazz, hip hop and traditional african songs are amazing. Lets just say Beat Boxing and traditional Zulu songs work really well together. Funny how a job waiting tables can lead you some where...wasn't a bad idea at all.

Also, I may have a chance to do some real work for a glossy print mag with big time distro...will keep the details hush for know cause I don't want to get my hopes up too soon, but...

I still need a haircut. My little bro visited recently and that was a riot. D visited recently and that was a riot and George Bush was elected and I think that could lead to a riot. After those election results, I truly have no desire to live in the US again. I miss the people, but that country lost something, and I think the world is nervous, and I feel better over here.
Really, the shift in the US is disgusting and horrifying and I can't even imagine what its like for the people I know over there and like minded ilk. Stil a bit upset about that one.

things are good at the moment. single, but its nice, just being me, which i think everybody should do.

There ya go journal, an actual update about my life.
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Oct. 28th, 2004 @ 09:52 am RIP
Rest in Peace John Peel. You had a hell of a run.
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Sep. 30th, 2004 @ 01:21 pm I promise!!!!!!!!!!
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: death from above 1979 ( raw fucking shit)
Okay, I promise to do a proper update on this site....soon. I can't today, but I thought I would let you all know its coming. How about Sunday? I should have some time then.

Okay, going into London soon for waaaahhhhh, shopping and over all tomfoolery.
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Sep. 27th, 2004 @ 02:30 am man, where does the time fly!!!!
Current Music: The tindersticks ( laconic cinematic pop = audio valium)
Well, its 2:30 over here in Engoland, and I just turned 25. A quarter of a century. You know I think I feel younger now then I did when I turned 21...

I will write more later cause I have to sleep.
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Sep. 8th, 2004 @ 07:37 pm The working man be dillgent but he sure as shit aint commercial!!!!
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: The libertines ( cause I forgot to pack new CD's in my bag)
Right, so, I have to keep this quick cause I am at an internet cafe and it costs money. I have spent the past week and a half working a temp job at my younger brothers company. I am a free lance business anyalst. Working on commercial due dillegence. Which basically means, a bigger company wants to buy a smaller company. So they ask my brothers company to find out about the industry, the smaller companies reputation, how their competitors operate and so on. Bonus of the job was the week long pass I received for the British library. It has my picture on it and is a definite momento. Also, I am getting the hang of cold calling a million people a day and convinecing them to talk to me on the phone about what they do. The office is loacted in a very rich part of London, right across the street from Christies... I like watching the beamers, bentlys, rolls and more role past during my smoke breaks.

I think I may need a hair cut soon.

I turn 25 in less then a month

I have been sleeping on a floor for the past week and a half

and british food is bad as always

life, as always, is at the moment extremly anecdoteal.

More later, when I don't have to pay by the minute to type.


Love
everyones favorite euro-dilletante
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Aug. 24th, 2004 @ 02:20 pm models and djs and tequila oh my...
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: British Sea Power ( its a better album then I thought)
I should really make a stronger effort to up date this thing on a regular basis. Otherwise when I do update I have to sit here for quite a while in order to detail what I have been doing, eating, thinking and not doing.

So for you long time readers and first time callers, here is an update of the parental discovery that graced these pages two weeks ago. As you know, my loving and supporting parents did find my drug fuled, dilletante life style en-dorsing, column. Since my last up date my parents came out to visit their three sons in London. We meet and while it was slightly tense with my mother, at first. I was able to re-open lines of communication by merely stating the truth. That what I had done was 'in-excusable'. It was a violation of their trust, support and faith in me, and that no amount of excuses would be sufficent to apologize. The only way that would be possible would be through action. My parents grasped I understood the situation and things were pretty much okay. Much to the chagrin of brother Gilles who had to deal with my parents yelling aboout it for half a week, as he was was visiting them when they discovered the column( in which he is also implicated). In the end it wasn't really the drugs, but the over exaggerated 'spoiled trust fund child' tone of the articles that got to them.

So know its just a matter of taking any old job that I can get my hands on in order to prove to my family that I will take responsibilty and get on with it. I am, to be completely honest here, not remotely happy about the idea.I aborh the thought of having to sit there once again and give some one change for their perfectly made martini, cappucino, over-priced cd, or generic high fashion knock off that was available on a 35% off sale. But now I just need to motivate myself to get off my butt and take whatever I can. I don't like the idea but my happiness in relation to work is rather inconsequential at the moment. I do understand that it will give me independence, money and completely free me from the ever nuturing but slightly smothering hand of family.

Which would be for the best. I tell you this though, I think there is something seriously disturbing in the western notion that one has to establish some kind of linear life plan and maintain these societal rules that you must be 'this' at a ceartain age and 'that' by a ceartain age and you must have done this and bought that. It causes extreme frustration in young people. Increasingly in this day and age a University education is essential for proper employment while at the same time the number of graduates has greatly increased and the jobs have not(too many smart people, not enough smart jobs). I think a number of people are horribly stressed at the thought that they aren't nearly where they should be, according to what they were told in their youth. The worlds changed and no one can be sure to even remotely follow a career path by a ceartain age, marriage, kids and so on. I think that is an increasing impossibility. But it's hard to shake off that notion of having to conform to that western life plan. This really goes out to everyone else I know who are having problems finding a career starting point even though they have a quality education. Stop worrying that you are in your mid-20s and not even remotely where you thought you would be by this age. That idea of having to be this or that by this specific age is dying. Its increasingly irrelevant and your life shouldn't be gudied by that princible. It only leads to heartache and misery. Just appreciate the process and what you have around you at the moment. You can be surprised by what you do have going on. No need to stress out because you aren't currently in some form of a quantifiable position that allows you to be judged by society as succsesful within some kind of acceptable life-plan/employment pardigm...

...Fuck it.

(Obviously I wrote the above to myself as well as anybody else that has been dealing with this mid 20's post-collegiate crisis)

In more recent news( and I think Jason will appreciate this) I went to an Output records label party last weekend. Output is Trevor Jackson's( whose playgroup albums are pretty sweet) label. It was guest list only and featured a number of rooms with bands such as MU playing and DJ's such as Tiefschwartz and Mr.Jackson himself playing some amazing sets of disco, funk, punk-funk, electro and housey stuff. The bands were insanely experemental and noisy as fuck. The best part though was that it was filled to the brim with what must have been hundreds of beautiful and extremly aloof girls. I have, in all honesty, never in my young life seen such an amazing looking crowd at a show. It was like a giant fashion shoot. Modelesque can't even begin to describe it. The venue itself was in this giant super minimal uber-hip hotel in East London. Obviously, it was an extremely shallow affair filled with eye candy. Luckily the effects of tequila shots and a lot of beer fuled my ass shaking and allowed me to dance among all the pretty, pretty people. It was a surreal, surreal experience. I wish you all could have been there.

Okay, that should be enough of an update at the moment.

Oh and Korea kicked some major ass in the mens ping-pong finals at the Olympics. I was rooting for them all the way. Kim-chi any one?
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Aug. 5th, 2004 @ 01:37 pm You aim for a lil honesty...
Current Mood: embarrassedembarrassed
Current Music: sons and daughters
Well, I had a feeling this could happen one day and it did. My parents found that column I write for that website, which depicts ceartain less then legal activities. And lets just say they aren't the happiest about it.

I take full responsibility and I knew this might happen one day, but even then I went ahead and wrote it( under a slightly obvious pseudonym(sp) if you know me). So yeah, it is my fault for letting them down in the way that only children can let down their parents. I don't regret writing it though. I was being honest about something, which not enough people are...

...anyways, this will all make for a lovely anecdote one day. And I am fine, and my parents will be eventually fine as well. They are extremely opened minded parents.


...It was a hell of a wake up call from my Mom this morning.
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Aug. 3rd, 2004 @ 12:43 am the big smoke!
Current Mood: goodgood
Current Music: glenn branca
Time for another recap of another weekend spent in that great big old city I like to call London.

On Friday, I went back into London and meet up with the Brother, the Canadian, the Brazillian, and Sam. We had a bunch of drinks in the Angel/Islington area. For those of you over seas, that part of London is rather rich but still sort of stylish and trendy.Its where the really succsesful people in the media eventually go and live. Or, its in that nice and friendly part of London you always see in movies like 'about a boy'. I wasn't planning on going out afterwards, cause as we all know the dilletante life style has in-frequent influxes of cash, unless of course you are a proper trust-afarian, but I'm not one, so instead I dabbled in being a completely leech and borrowed money off the candian instead( thanks again by the way, I will get it back to you soon). So we eventually, made it to Sam's place and then eventually made it down, once again, to plastic people. Now I do like the place a lot but it was the fourth time in the same number of weeks and I have to give that place a break. Though Erol Alkan and one of the brothers in Too Many Dj's showed up at the end. Which always satisfies that desire to see semi-famous people. Left the club, took a cab home by myself and had a lovely chat with a London born and raised cabbie about the 'Yanks' and why we love London.

Saturday, Gabe and Germaine came back to town and that was brillant good fun. Meet them in Hackeny, cause they were staying with Germaines German Friend Malta, who is quite a riot. Started drinking, went to Shoredtitch and saw Clinic play a free show. Who were great by the way. We drank pretty much the entire time.Once the show was over, we decided to buy some beers, and since you can legally drink outdoors in this country. We went and drank for a bit in Hoxton square. Which happened to have a shakespear performance of some kind going on, but the best part was that the people on stage were all young, good looking hipster types. Which made it that much more amusing. We eventually made our way over to another park, where we drank some more, smoked, and the Canadian came and joined us, so we drank some more. Eventually, after a lot of walking around, we decided to go back to Maltas, and by walking around I mean standing on corners trying to decided what to do, with no one making a clear choice.

Go back to Maltas, buy junk food along the way. We decide to watch a movie. We also decide to smoke more. Now this causes just about everyone to pass out. I eventually made my way to the fouton in Maltas living room, but not before having to hold back a number of near-vomit gags. I ran to the bathroom but luckily nothing came out in the end. Passed on the fouton and then we all woke up the next day a lil smelly and a lil smoky( The Candian left in the night from what I recall).
Now, I hadn't planned on sleeping at Maltas, so I had no change of clothes and no tooth brush. I slept in my jeans, though I did find time to take off my shirt before I totally passed out.

So everyone else cleans up, I chain smoke some morning cigs and drink some coffee and then we head off to Spitlefeilds market. Which is quite a famous market for up and coming fashion designers and other 'cool' thngs. Now, again, I stink and don't get a chance to change clothes until eight that night. We eventually leave the market and head into central London. Germaine checks out the mass consumerism of Oxford Street and Topshop. I took Gabe record shopping and he bought some sweet clothes at this Army Surplus store we found. And Malta wandered over to a large pride party that was going on in Soho. Where, I happened to see a tall older man walking down the street in what looked like a very expensive black bikini. His pubes were sticking way out. He should have probably waxed.

Eventually we went to a Samuel Smith pub, which is always dirt cheap. And then it was a quick smoke, another bar in Shoreditch and I barely made the train back to Guildford. Thanks to another tube delay.

It was honestly great seeing Gabe and Germaine. Made me miss Madison and all those kids a bit. But I am bound to see them again.

after reading this I can't help but wonder if I don't drink a bit much on the weekends. Oh well...when in Rome.
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